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The
first truly new words in about a billion years
Lildogie Phweet, Anon Slutisfaction: Taking sexual gratification by upsetting the religious right. |
Yerstruly 7togo, '01 Dweeborless: Approximating but yet equaling the full value of total dweebness. Prodigastrophe: Squandering your largest horrible personal tragedy on your first book. Gospliesta: A good Christian nap. Mystigible: The abject humiliation at being seen reading Beyond the Valley of the Dolls for the third time. Frustrollaration: Waiting in line to give money to a bureaucrat suspended in amber. Fliposis: Stuck changing. Neurwall: A mental speedbump. Pothole: A hole in your pot. Badda bing badda boom! Solyarch: King of a domain inhabitable only by The King. Slugopath: Deeply interested in offering no help whatsoever. Cognoramus: Concentrating on the fun stuff you don't need to know because it's a lot easier. Free Gratis Thought for the Week: I'm twilled to be wearing cotton. |
Strajuna 2.4, 457
Spexitting: To appear missing while present. |
Osmotic 4, ought Guud: When you don't give a rat's ass about shit. Guuder: When |
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Fleeky 7, 'leven Phootography: Sitting in the bathroom taking pictures of yourself looking at pictures of bathrooms. Diemually: Once a day per year, whenever you feel like it. Flameboyant: Lighter than a fire department hovering over a lake, any lake. Bloodernfuule: Fun in a horrible, twisted and illegal eastern Germanic vein.. Africot: Napping on the Dark Continent between midnight and Thursday. Steef: A horrible icky bluey gelatinous substance used in the manufacture of Beefy jerky. Foumblaire: The found part of a larger missing thing. Jihog: Jello mold of a mature yet fanatic pot-bellied pig. Sequidiculty: The extreme difficulty of using lists in alphabetical "order". Oenifice: Sucking wine off the lips of a fuzzy woodchuck. Goofenoffen: Yah, lpdblh, lassq, lasoidxj bbb-bbbbbbb-bbbbb. Free Gratis Thought for the Week Never take the high road. It'll come back to bite you in the ass. Thanks to Us. Free Gratis Fashion Tip for the Ages: When in doubt, wear green. |
Enugh 4, 18766
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Laicroonk 45, 20981
Wenis: A disturbingly small and ineffectual sense of community.
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Shudnadun Fourscore, '01 Bantasy: When the bird watchers' "hoitee toitee" tour guide repeatedly points out exotic birds no one else can see. Opposash: Running and screaming away from yourself as fast as you can on two legs. Fugyotic: A Funky state of being acutely annoyed by people with a cheerful, helpful attitude and who are always really, really glad to see you and believe in what you stand for unless it's really fucked up. Telecliktic: Unable to stop watching the late local news even though you hate every minute of it except the murders. Norwoodish: A Thinnish Danish Finnish. Cogdat: A dog that "thinks" it's a cat. Or a cat that "thinks" it's a dog. Or vice versa. Malaisonnaise: Spreading your bad feeling around like gooey creamy stuff (such as a cream puff). Riggoriss: Refusal to modify beliefs no matter the metric tonnage of evidence to the au contraire, you freaking idiot. Roxflauvium: A dry waterfall. Swackoe: When you feel more naked than you are. Schmere: A troubled schpace station, after it schmacks the Schmapacific Ocean. Free gratis Thought for the Week: Have you seen my feed bag? Thanks to Klek Vitly, Clamland, ND |
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Banguish: Suffering from the entropic echoes
of The Big Bang. HQ's Free Hostess Tip of the Eon:
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Clarch 3, 3
Chaodexology: the study of how when you're not sure how your house got like this.
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Trifectuary 23, 23 Vitchuly: A profound, life-changing search of one's innermost soul |
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Wennddell's 56th, 56th |
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Struben-teenth, 0'er nine Sluttony: Stuffing yourself at an all-you-can-eat buffet while
getting laid. (2.) Hipper version: Laying yourself at and all-you-can-eat
buffet while getting stuffed. Esprit de Corpse: The bonhomie of the dead, such as it was.
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Effluvium 9, Ought2 Nouveau Ruination: Driving through suburbia and noticing the way the architecture blends in with your dashboard. Pellowmellow: when you'd rather be watching the grass grow, esp. if it's marijuana. Mirroverse: Pertaining to words that actually mean the opposite of what everyone thinks they mean even though everyone thinks just the opposite. Correctoplexy: when it's as much fun to be right as it is to be wrong. Erravenue: A one-way street that goes the wrong way forever. Bonnectoplexy: (From the Francios bonnectoplexoui.) The desire for live free French pornography. Ultralexic: A monetary disorder in which you confuse dollars for dimes. Not a frugal disorder. Tripmo'tarianism: (Icelandic, icehead.) Getting beaned by your own elbow. Berillyucks: The process of laughing at something that's better than aluminum. Rhinofocation: Trading in your nose for a larger model. Rekologue: Getting into it with your tape recorder during the morning commute. Illeration: Negative synergy, as in: let's help each other get worse, ok darlin? Pardon me.
Free Gratis Thought for the Week: It''ll make
sense somewhere. . . . Else.
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Hypernation:
A culture unable to just crawl in a dark cave and shuddup for the winter
and eat a lot of warm bean soup. Phlacksup:
The general, omni-directional feeling that you'd rather be spackling.
Also, a quick, possibly insulting riposte to "wassup?" |
| Sklabar 9.4, 2004 Notrayphobia: Fear of returning your tray table to its upright and locked position. Youranation: Yearning to use a public restroom which, after twenty minutes, you finally figure out is empty. Esp. while everybody is looking. Exwowsted: Too tired to yawn. Grootch: An army small enough so you get know all the guys a lot better than you ever ever wanted to. Consequonishment : Utter shock that things went according to plan. Imbizzible: The air as seen from the air. Oennual: A unit of time equal to some glasses of wine ago. Hyption: Advising people to do what you don't. Flexogative: When the answer is yes while you're quite flexible on the question. Dreality: A dream to which you awaken. Klabberate: To make some worthless bonehead agree to your bonehead idea.. After which you are klabbergasted, i.e., you are a bonehead. Free Gratis Thought for the Week: There are certain undiminishing tendencies which, if they continue to fail to become manifest, will likely require certain indirectly implied remediations insofar as this "body" is likely to do anything about anything even if it could or so much as gave a good goddam. -- Galan Reenspan |
| Canoodle 1, '01 Underpenance: Altered respiration induced by the guilt associated with your significant other's removal of his or her or its last piece of soft under-clothing. Buttistan: A small theocracy in Central Asia that worships cigarillos, which were made from yak anuses and such, of course, but had that certain "hipness" that enabled those who smoked them to appear "cool". Precrastination: Planning ahead to put everything off till it's ahead of its time. Skaxur: A stinky sticky skanky thing that plumbers charge extra to touch. Also, when you really KNOW you're right. Negacognation: The refusal to write down what you're thinking in the hope you won't remember it. (Don't we all know that sinking feeling.) Pyrexuality: That whacky state of consciousness in which all you think about is your past life as a lesbian. Bolognium: Meat left over from the last millennium. Highly radioactive bullshit. Good with mustard, white bread. Necrobugulation: The process of counting the dead bugolitos inside your mind. Indermmystic: (1.) The inability to discern whether or not the person in bed with you is wearing socks. (2.) Lack of interest in same. (3) The "middle layer" of irony or the soft underbelly of sardonicism. Chitash: That which could not ever ever possibly nor under any circumstances be funny. ooooooFree gratis thought for the week: The fact that it speaks for itself goes without saying. oooooo--- muchas gracias to Perry Winkle, Squim, Chile |
Primuary 0003, 02001 Some fine old words, exhumed from the linguistic graveyard by our favorite Legendary Dangerous Lexicographer Dr. Ben Harubin. Snoutband. Noun. 14th C. (1.) The iron surrounding the sole of a shoe. (2.) A person who rudely interrupts conversation. Condiddle. Verb, 18th C. To steal, to make away with. Ninnywatch. Noun. A vain hope; a silly or foolish expectation. Quacksalver. Noun. 17th C. A charlatan, a seller of phone medicines. Clyte. Verb. (1.) To lose one's train of thought in the middle of an oration and suddenly sit down. (2.) Of birds of prey; to swoop down from the sky and pounce upon a smaller bird. Interestingly, one of our retractably fanged reporters overheard the following at The Waffle House on New Year's Day: "The quacksalver polished his snoutband and clung to his ninnywatch but suddenly clyted and returned to his condiddling." Editors: Must have been quite a waffle, the kind you might condiddle for your inner quacksalver. Free gratis thought for the week: She respects me for my soulium, but she loves me for my helium. ---- Thanks to Stella Artois and Bud Mickel Weiser |
| Phlatzdember 100, 2000 Palitosis: Having a friend who stinks real good. Mirdick: A troubled rocket scientist detective. Buyosphere: The environment of a mall rat, which magically inflates the week after Xmas. Yieldomania : The intentional flagrant failure to resist certain powerful urges. Flummit: A mountaintop as it appears from above. Or, the acme of confusion. Venus Envy: No definition recommended on counsel from our local deity. Borophobia: Fear of being normal. Ashhole: An annoying jerk who smokes cigars. Verbagond: Person who must go out of town to think of a new word. Free gratis thought for the week: We live in a free country but it sure is expensive. |
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Ahmpitz
36, 2000 |
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Subgacious:
Being stupider than you will ever know. Also, sharing a kind of really
stultifying, useless, obnoxious wisdom, esp. with those who obviously
aren't as interested as they could be. |
| Quemayan
55, 2000 Panhologem: the modality of your paradigm. Nixax: someone who changes his mind after confessing to murder. Parallographies: psychic readings derived from bar codes. Zephyrvescent: being a little upwind of yourself. Yelevate: to scream while being uplifted. Femual: the ability to remove the bra quicker than she could of. Nocturgation: Having the ability to plan (at about noon) to intentionally dream about a highway that shifts between Rt. 66 and A1A (later that night). Prenthesex : >)Reverse parentheses.( |
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Xylcembarary
49, 2000 |
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Vonember
48, 2000 Tognacious:
Them who can't resist playing with the automobile switches until they
break. |
Achtober 14, 2000 Quog: Ground brains. Quog: Ground brains, period. Quog: Ground brains, period. You idiot. Quog: Ground brains, period. You idiot. Gadammit. Quog: Ground brains, period. You idiot. Gadammit. Quog it. |
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Lacrysteria:
An emotive condition in which the victim is unable to determine whether
the perpetrator is laughing or crying. |
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Scrubril 23, 2000 Queligible:
that which warrants a reader's survey. Also, quibbling over that which
is negligible. |
| Lorawrarary,
11th, Twentydoublenaught PsychoEmptorosis: The unfathomably vapid state of mind, a state devoid of any sense of consequence or regard for "one's own interests", a mental condition that would enable an otherwise "normal car buyer" to freely choose, and pay putrid piles of pig money for, like, a brand new Corvair, Chevette, Pacer, Vega, Maverick, or YouGo (ha-ha no you don't), or a 1984 Chevron Algonquin Skankfire Ltd. Bushy: nounjectively. The surprisingly intelligent fear of debating subjects on which you know only that which can be absorbed during an average squat on the crapper while reading 1999's Abbreviated Reader's Digest Wrap Up, based on the certainty that your innermost essence has been revealed and that you have absoultely no toilet paper within like a 12 mile ulna. Rhuuvalzah: A yurt that is shaped like an outhouse that takes 5 damn years to build and as soon as the monstrosity is done everyone hates it and wishes they'd used the money to buy a really top drawer silk screen machine from England or a shovel. Bisinkus transferus shatterum: The ancient Greco-Roman technique of harshly moving dirty dishes from one sink to the other (if you have an "other") in the expectation that a minor household deity will descend, grant one's wish to break the them all since wonton destruction is a lot more fun than washing the bastards. |
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Doltish Quatrain, Naught Hollogutt: 1) a collapsed state of being/non-being caused by completely and unwittingly accepting an invitation to have a campaign finance dinner with a couple of Bush/Cheney lower echelon campaign volunteers who brag unconditionally on how great they cook but always serve visually confusing cold cuts and oddly canned deli items from the nearby Family Buck Wild Free For All. Warm. (Misplaced modifier. So kill me, if you can find me or [or learn how to place it].) 2) that impropriety of a mature beer belly by which, no matter what part of the beer belly you look at or from or touch or which angle you look at it from or to, you can see the whole beer belly in three dimensions forever. |
| Twanaar
4, 4 Ohnobar: a cone whose ice cream just fell on the floor splatly and is slowly turning into stinking mess. Myomygrain!!!: The exclamation of a farmer who gets a headache upon discovering that his barley field has been subsumed by a vast and elaborate crop circle. ?ŠJuqz3woqеz9-rtoozÜÜŒ‰ewzŒŒk: The pure crazy sounds of Ornette Coleman gettin down and crackin all the rules like so many pecan shells. Muzzlefuzzle: It sounds like muthurfucker but surprisingly what it really means is, "May I substitute that for the spicy mustard?" (2.) The Zen practice of word processing in which, after typing each letter, you hit backspace. |
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Humdigger 0, 2000 Dowelism: A mildly observant religious philosophy developed in ancient China which derived from the delicate expensive and perfectly pure art of cramming a round peg into a square area. |
| Fruly,
57, 2000 Buggeroon: a one inch tall gorilla-shaped insect that plants a sandspur in your butt a nanosecond before you squat on a pleasantly firm rock in a national fucking forest. |
| Auglly
35, 2000 Og: The beneficial outcome of a bone-headed blunder. Or, when the universal tendency formerly known as the Prince of Darkness fucks up and does good. [The inverse of Doh!] Pleesil: A retching sound that becomes increasingly familiar with each passing retch. |
| July
21, 2000 Mongroanious: as, of, or pertaining to the bass clef groan emitted from a "Heinz 57 type" canine at the moment when said canine succumbs to the temptations of gravity and merges with the floor. Especially over 50 pounds. Grahth: a moving shadow. |
| July
14, 2000 Diagnyss: The lovely and talented Greek goddess of cutting corners. Vort: an erect Word of the Week that that was only known and used by the Essenes when they died. Verb or derogatory. No longer in use. They're fucking dead for chrissakes! Holidace: The brutal stuffing your belly takes during holidays. Jocuflat: In most polite societies: Shouldn't be funny but it is, such as: What happened to the guy who couldn't remember the next joke? ……He bled to death. Thanks for asking. |
| June
21, 1000 Scrizzle: Verbish. (Crotelian 14C "Bog you wish.") Thinking outside of the bag. |
June 16, 2000 Mountreeologie: the study of the methodology the mountain climber employs to change the mountain, especially how it relates to the escarpment. Dysquikmathorq: a red-faced cross-eyed inventor who invents something horrible, such as quicksand, toll booths, impulse items, enemas, vengeful and uninformed gods, Vanity Fair magazine or dandruff especially when the seborrheic flakes are combined with any of the above or similar examples. 2) the nearer of two quikmathorqs. As in, "Not datquikmathorq - dysquikmathorq." |
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May 31, 2000 Loborotomo: All the endless little tasks you have to complete in your spare time in order to maintain official status as a "grown-up." |
| May 18,
2000 plegler: Household handheld device which determines the color of asphalt at a distance. As in, "Please pass the plegler before I qek the fucking shit out of you. If you know what I mean but you probably don't because it's just the way you are." |
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April
26, 2000 |
| April
12, 2000 Opotamus: Fear of not being hip. TÔfoid: The utterly rational hatred of soy milk, esp. when this position has been achieved vis a vis and via inductive reasoning. Quandette: The shape which "some" men imagine that the blue jeans of "the girl next door" assume when she removes them. |
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April 3, 2000 Caralysis: the condition of traffic when a freight train or large beige rhino stops at a railroad crossing for what seems like a really long afternoon. Smudgarees: dirty clothes that could be worn at least one more time before washing but not on a first date, a job interview or a daytime funeral. Virtually undetectable by a manly sense of smell. Usually worn by men. Always "smelled out" by women. Insanity: When you can get there without any problem but can't figure out how to get back and it really fucks you up bad. (Not a real word. If you know what I mean.)
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March 29, 2000 Shampoon: champagne with soap in it. 2) a faux fronch lampoon. 3) optional button on newer models of the 1947 Chevron Algonquin that were manufactured at plant #345 in Eudomon, Franzona. Cosmogrified: where you get spun around instead of spinning things around; the ethos has its way with you. Eudomon: A pithy greeting, esp. between male sports fans, to which the greeted fan typically replies, "No, how can I Bedomon when Eudomon!!" |
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March 22, 2000 comption: you know what this means. 1) utter and complete, total understanding of absolutely nothing. 2) being like as. 3) a miniature screw that only Ken can use to fix Barbie's femur.
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| March
08, 2000 dwanair: a flimsy diaphanous undergarment worn for "effect" re+komspotulation: the process of cross+ventilating compost (in some cases, to see if it is ready yet…just for the fucking thrill of it) |
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February 17, 2000 Queschtohng: the final answer for which there is no question. flet: a small un-compact utility closet filled with rare and exotic stuff that no one can ever remember, with good reason, but which exudes a strange perfume whenever violated. Noun. |
February 10, 2000 Pigment: the color of a pig. Phlabeezorrn: A sticky, peppermint-flavored adhesive used on a lint brush. Frak: Verb, imperative. 1.) Back to the front. 2.) In Norvag, Pardon my reindeer. |
February 03, 002000 Menage a quatre: Four cats sharing an active case of mange. PheePhiPhoPhophobia: 1. Phear of a giant answering the PHONE. Muenster: A scary Fronch meunster made of cheese. Eurology: An indiscriminate and lively study of the uses of the bidet. Mizzenmindencracken: 2. Losing the middle of one's mind. Or, finding the middle of one's mind, Hah-haaaaaaaah! Parfacreez: (Combo-na/tion verb or noun or dejective known as a nerb.) A new technological innovation designed to make a life that is rich, fulfilling and brimming with love and good cheer even better. Also, an oleo spread served with mizzenmindencrackers. |
| January
27, 2000 estraqularthonne: [Ester-kwalr-thong] Noun or other part of speek. (Fronch, 3rd Empire.) 1.) Dead wood, worthless heathen no good sumbitch. 2.) Defraggable. 3.) Bosnian for "you Fronch idiot." 4.) a cog, sort of. |
| January
20, 2000 Skench: a politician of the highest order. As in: George Dubya Bush, candidate for president, is a fucking skench. larfencwik: a Swede who is quick to laugh at the misery of others, especially Norwegians. nasozephyrlaction: blowing milk softly out of one's nose, or another's. |
| January
13, 2000 Vacluzzy: (fah-kloozy) Noun. The damp part. In a sentence: Don't try to dry my vacluzzy. Let the sodden vacluzzy lie. Touch your own damn vacluzzy. Pharmeneutin: (Farm in newton, fig) (1.) Something you can't quite see which is about to hit you in the head. (2.) A farm in Newton, Massachusetts. (3.) Obsolete: The quintessential horizontal essence of Paleolithic concepts. This word has never been used in a sentence, and we're not about to start now. Uh-oh, a vague but intense sense of pharmeneutin is setting upon my ……ouch!! |
| January
6, 2000 cryteria: a small shop in a trendy neighborhood that caters to the miserable. dogpound: the amount of energy required to feed your dog. clawstrophobic: fear of wearing gloves. hinkjollaswaze: a fine how do you do. as in: "Well, that was a fine hinkjollaswaze." or 2) an unwanted, gritty substance found in poorly made bratwurst |
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December
9, 1999 For example: "Don't
be so bocraggeous, it's my parents's dog." |
| December
2, 1999 klixdiptic: the condition of the human body at the exact nanosecond between sweating and not sweating. In a sentence:* It takes a very attentive person to notice that brief moment in time before they begin sweating especially during an arduous workout. The word originates from a popular albeit obscure South American tribe, now since vanished, the Klixtecs. The Klixtecs lived in Pracuazil, a country that no longer exists and that no one has ever truly fixed to a particular "location". The tribal shamans were said to have enjoyed brief moments of serenity when they could mentally "capture" the moment between sweating and not sweating. * But not this one. Thanks to John Madden...kudos john!! Love your new bus!!! |
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November 18,
1999 Note: It is rumored that reading all the Archived News Items backwards functionally descragulates any neuro you got. Keep it under yer hat. thanks to Matt Gethins, if that's your real name..... |
| November 3, 1999 Nostrildomus: Christian mystic who could predict, in a group of supplicants, the next sneeze.
quazy:
adjective. [Root claze, ancient tromboninium, Middle Persian for I lost
my big big nose.] (1.) a vague sense of uneasiness tempered
by a moment of total insanity. (2.) the state of delusional
slothfulness. |
| October 28, 1999
delaquintamite This word doesn't mean anything and can be used anywhere in any context The meaning of his aberrant behavioral delaquintamite was not lost on those who delaquintamited with a considerable degree of delaquintamitousnessly. |
| October
21, 1999
Sternutation
Sternutation is the act of sneezing, and a single sneeze can also be |
| October
14, 1999 ollie [n. OL-ee] |
| September 30, 1999
quiddity Noun: the essence or essential quality of
a thing, So, it clearly follows that the quiddity
of a 1939 Chevron Algonquin resides in Thanks to Shunya, the doll with
the dahl (Dahl: (sp?) legume based delicious Indian dish. Made even
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| September 23, 1999
chiasmus: A rhetorical inversion of the second of two
parallel structures. "As a literary and rhetorical
device, chiasmus has woven itself into the Our advice is:
Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you. thanks to our faithful, personal pathologist, K. Stone |
| September 16, 1999
brummagem
[n., adj. BRUM-uh-jum] This
slang word is an alteration of the name of Birmingham, England,
This
word has a dark, little known history. In the sixteenth century,
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| September
9, 1999
word:
Heuristic Pertaining
to a teaching method which encourages |
| September
2, 1999
word: Entasis In
architecture: the almost imperceptible convex swelling
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| August
19, 1999
word: Hypothecate To pledge to a creditor in security for some debt or demand, but without transfer of title or delivery of possession. (2) to put in pawn; to pledge Our sentence-- We hypothecate the value of this here word to our friend Shunya.
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August 12, 1999
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| August 5, 1999
And the Word is (was): plicate folded like a fan our comment: It is very difficult to use plicate in a sentence, eh what ? second attempt: His (or her) fan was folded like a plicate. Or literally--Her (or his) fan was folded like a folded like a fan. One more try, folks: |
| July 28, 1999
Flinders It's just what it sounds like. Webster's: A small piece of shiny metal. Small pieces or splinters; fragments. As in "it broke into flinders". Still, its a good word.So what? We broke into Flinder's last week, searching for holistic adages, and found only a flinders of flounder. Do you hate us yet? We're fairly relentless... up to this point... ouch... |
| July
21, 1999 Anyway, as we were saying, here's TheWord
................ Check it out: "A NUCLEAR accelerator designed to replicate the
Big and the word was good. no, the word was PERTURBATION. |
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The Words (of last week)when there were words (plural) eche: to increase or enlarge jardiniere: a pot or stand for flowers and plants etsequens: and the following invidual or thing. sea squirt: an ascidian ascidian: marine animals having a leathery sac, such as, a sea squirt or tunicate (you idiot) partipris:
an opinion formed before hand. a foregone conclusion
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