TO THE PERSON WHO STOLE MY PETUNIAS!!!!

I could have easily sold my stuff
for hundreds of dollars
but I am the person who advertised
"Free Stuff on My Curb"
and "More free stuff on my curb"
within the past two weeks

Some very nice people, good people
from all over the tri-county area came by
they indulged in sunshine and freebies
which included everything
from computer accessories
to sheepskin lame´ auto seat covers
to designer flower stencils
for really flat gingerbread cookies
from bowling trophies to trophy wives
to a set of china and soup spoons
from a pound of loafers to a loaf of boloney

some very nice people
good people came by
luxuriated in  my christ-like generosity
and now?……..well,
some very nice people now have some
very much nicer lives

....however...then came you!

you found your way from the curb to my walkway
why didn't you steal some of the easily accessible other stuff
while you enjoyed the free giveaway in my front yard?
you are such a stinking pathetic rat bastard
you walked right past my car....hmm...
the car was a little closer to the curb than the pot of petunias.... and it has wheels for rolling away!
what about my gradnmother’s rocking chair
and the dying ferns you left behind
...they are now lonely without their petunia pals...
the petunias you wrenched from busty mother earth
who remembers cocksuckers like you who tear at her
and rip at her and take from her what is not your
she will stick a huge thorny bush up your ass

at least if you had stolen my car...
insurance would've paid for me a new one
and you would have some hefty repair bills on a regular basis
maybe the car would have been more tempting
if I had planted it in the garden
you could have wrenched it out of the ground
left its rear axels snapped off in the loamy earth
sundered like petunia roots flailing in the sun

Well, I hope you don’t enjoy the petunias
oh I just remembered – you’ll never enjoy the petunias
luckily, I managed to infect them
with a special brain-eating botchulism
activated when the roots are torn
and the flowers carried any distance
from my garden.

by the boy poets sowing